BEAUTY?
“The Structure Becomes Your Alibi”
“Winning is like looking cross-eyed into the wind, there's no going back, you are stuck in a time-warp, the wig melts to your head and stays on forever!”
“I shall construct an artificial girl whose anatomy will make it possible to re-create the dizzy heights of passion and to do so to the extent of inventing new desires.”
“Panti! Where d'you get that great outfit? And those great shoes? Shoot! You look better than I do! Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and tell you how much we all appreciate everything you do for all the folks and their families with the HIV virus - I think that's great of you. And I'm gonna smack you 'cos you look so good!”
“We love the way we look in times of crisis
“Eileen Dunne, newsreader and part-time Eurovision scorekeeper, gave me two pieces of advice: ‘Keep smiling’ and ‘Stay focused on the Crown’. Good advice if you don't take it too literally. I got a cramp in my gums and a creak in my neck and I have now worked out why she’s just reading the scoreboard and not actually taking part.”
“The show must go on ... you bunch of c****”
APPLICATIONS ARE
NOW CLOSED
ENTERING YOUR ‘MISS’
The first stage happens through this website. By entering, you automatically generate a web-page for all your entry ideas, texts, images and videos. Images and video and well thought out ideas will really help AMI (and you) get a sense of where your Miss is going, and what she may become.
You will be able to access your entry materials by logging in to this site until the entry deadline passes, at which point your are considered "entered".
AMI may then contact you to tease out your ideas, talk about your aspirations, and generally get a better sense of who your ‘Miss’ is. Our 2012 cohort of Cailíns will be notified, and any unfortunate Miss-dejecteds and Miss-rejecteds will receive councelling vouchers.
DEADLINE
The Call for Entries for AMI XVIII 2012 closes at midnight 13 January 2012. At that moment in time, your ‘Miss’ will be entered!
ONCE ENTERED
After the successful entry of your ‘Miss’, the rollercoaster all the way to the heel-clicking pageant will begin. But best to talk about that when and as it happens. For now, just get your Miss on and take beauty and gender for a ride!
The Queen is (nearly) Dead
- Long Live the Queen!
ENTER AND EXPLODE
All Aspiring
Queen Cailíns!
PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ENTER
Thank you for your interest in entering Alternative Miss Ireland XVIII 2012. Whilst expanding definitions of beauty through spectacle and gender augmentation, AMI is also a charity event, raising money and awareness for Irish HIV/AIDS organisations. it is produced and run by an energetic and dedicated team of volunteers, so your interest is dear to us. There’d be no pageant without our ‘Misses’.
AMI looks for the broadest range of entrants - men, women and anything else - to fuck with ideas of beauty and gender through performance, wit, music, high-art, pop-clash, low-gutter - in fact, anything that you can possibly think to do on a stage. AMI looks for quality, enthusiasm, insanity, strange beauty, outrage, and in particular, originality. The less likely that your act will be similar to other entrants, the more likely AMI will chose you to be an Aspiring Queen Cailín for the pageant of your lifetime (it may well be the end of your lifetime!).
AMI is a tumescent celebration of alternative beauty and performance, of concentrated otherness. Your ‘Miss’ should remember that the show plays to a packed audience of 1,300 people in the Olympia Theatre - so take that into account in her creation. Whether she is a rowdy cunt like Miss Heidi Konnt with a live orchestra, choir and family Von Tramp to back her up; or a tiny fragrant flower like Miss Smilin’ Kanker all alone with her poppers and prayers; or Miss Shirley Temple Bar with a ribbon routine of Olympic aspiration; or a electric space beauty androgine like Miss Veda Beaux Rêves, you have to give your ‘Miss’ your all.
The pageant has three rounds - Daywear, Swimwear and Eveningwear - which you need to consider in the formulation of your ‘Miss’ ideas. AMI will let you know more about these rounds if your entry is successful. Judges then judge on Poise, Personality and Originality. The winning Queen should blow them - and the audience - out of their tiny alternative minds...